Friday, January 1, 2010

my voice is many voices. an echo

New Year's has never held much meaning for me, but I guess there is always a small part of me holding out some hope that something will get better.

I barely slept all night. I'm so tired of battling my head and drowning in emotions that turn into pysical pain, spreading out from the center of my body to my hands and fingertips. It hurts so badly, and I can tolerate less and less. So many years, and I'm so tired. And now a another year staring me in the face. It never ends, no matter what good things happen, or how old I get. It lives inside me and just keeps growing and eating me alive.


  1. Sorry that things are so hard for you right now. I know exactly the feeling you describe, the panic attacks after eating and the need for everything to be over. I don't have any great words of advice but just wanted to let you know that I've felt that way too. **hugs**

  2. Oh Caitlin [comfort] I really things were easier for you. I hate to see this because you are such an amazing person and you are so intelligent. I wish I knew what to say but I don't because most of it you already know